Sex and Porn: Is It Worth to Combine?

Is watching porn good for a couple? Now when the Internet has made pornography available, many insist that watching adult films helps to strengthen relationships in a couple. Is it so? It all depends on the goals and desires of two, our experts say.

Female Interest

It is considered that pornography is preferred by male mostly. For men, in coupling visual stimuli are much more important than for women, explain the sexologists and psychotherapists. But the situation is changing. And this is connected not so much with human nature, as with technical progress.

Today it’s enough to have a smartphone and Internet to download “strawberry.”  And women are more willing to experiment: polls confirm that they watch porn quite active1. And at least a third of respondents watch it (at least sometimes) with a partner. Psychologists still don’t know how useful porn movies are for couples. This is definitely not a mandatory component of sexual life, but it is unlikely a violation, they claim.

Subjects and Objects

The situation when the wife finds her husband watching pornography is just as anecdotal as is vital, as any therapist (or divorce lawyer) will confirm. At the same time, men are perplexed about the stormy indignation of their female partners. “At some point, I realized that he was not having sex with me, but with his cartoon demons,” confess one young woman. But if there is no mutual agreement, this inevitably leads to deterioration in the relationship.

“Do You Want to Talk About This?”

But with some couples, it can be a completely different story about. One husband recalled that he had found his partner watching pornography. “I, frankly, was shocked,” he says. – Firstly, I didn’t expect anything like that from my tender special one. And it was a rough BDSM!”

For this couple, watching porn together has become a way to find harmony in sex. As it turned out, the quiet intelligent girl was very shy to share her fantasies with a spouse. And this genre helped the partners not only to get to know each other better but also to practice new techniques.

The desire to watch porn is not arising out of nowhere, it always has a reason, warn doctors. And conclusions are as follows:

    • It can be a symptom of problems in relationships, a testimony that one of the partners is not satisfied with the intimate life;
    • At the same time, such entertainment can enrich the lives of the couple;
    • The mere fact of speaking on this topic (watching or not) unites people, touching on the most intimate aspects;
  • A discussion of what is happening on the screen really reveals the fantasies and aspirations of partners. And often leads to the expansion of their “technical arsenal”.

This, by the way, is confirmed by research data. 51% of women admitted that pornography has expanded their ideas about sex and sexuality. And 11% reported that watching porn brought them together with partners. Many experts believe that this effect is especially true for couples over 40–45 years old. Today young people get acquainted with porn in the early years while for their parents it can be a terra incognita.

Why Watching Porn Leads to Relaxation In Bed and Life

If two adults, by mutual consent and for mutual pleasure watch porn, then there is no problem in that. It may be quite a thrilling experience and entertainment. Questions pop up when one of the partners feel negative emotions. If everyone is happy with everything and there is no rejection, we can assume that we are dealing with a variant of a method to get pleasure and relax.

Sexologists believe that porn can play a positive role in the lives of those whose imagination is poor. Despite pornographic films and videos are a phenomenon of the last century, the culture of erotic tractates and inspiring had existed long before. More than 100 years ago people had to manage their own imagination with fairytales, the advice of relatives, songs, paintings etc. And they, apparently, did it well.

Pornography can’t replace fantasy but may present new plots and techniques. Some people are afraid of the risk that it will not enrich, but will substitute for a healthy sexual relationship. But it’s unlike scenario. Each pair has to consider this thin line independently. And strive to transfer joy of lovemaking into a positive attitude to life, well-being both emotionally & physically.  

Scientific Answers

Sexologists and physicians claim that people watch porn for different reasons. Here are some interesting conclusions:

  • Why do men watch lesbian porn? Consumers of pornographic video strongly “vote” for the scenes of same-sex love between two (as well as three, four and further to infinity) women. What explains the popularity of this “genre”? With regard to the possible popularity of lesbian porn among men, the answer offered is offensively simple. The researchers state that visual stimuli play an extremely important role in the male mechanisms of sexual arousal. And what could be more stimulating than a beautiful, naked and ready to make love woman? That’s right – two such women. Well, or three – and so on.
  • If we talk about women, it is not visual images that are much more important for excitement, but experienced emotions. Probably for this reason, for example, the film Brokeback Mountain about the love of two cowboys was a huge success with a female audience. However, the dramatic story itself attracted women and not the scenes of carnal love between the main characters. That confirms the following fact: porn with gay participation does not help women to relax and find inspiration.

Nonetheless, some experts caution against overuse of pornography. “The availability of porn acts just like an excessive amount of even the most beloved food, they claim. Just remember how in childhood we waited for New Year presents because we didn’t earn money to buy something special ourselves. And now due to Internet shops all staff available all year round from different corner of the world. And no one is waiting. Interest disappeared. Similarly is with porn: an excess of stimuli can lead to a decrease in desire and be boring.

Porn And The First Sexual Experience

The first sexual experience is something like an enchanting New Year’s party, about which you begin to think from September. Imagine: you dreamed that everything would pass with fireworks, but the party turned out to be extremely boring. Or another option: you were afraid of spending the whole evening in a corner in tragic solitude after the intercourse, and everything went nice and cordial.

How porn can influence your first lovemaking? It seems you should get rid of some beliefs which are true for adult films but don’t work in real life.

Dream #1: This Will Be a Heavenly Pleasure!

Immediately forget. Erotic or hot scenes are nothing more than a beautiful fairy tale. Only movie characters experience unearthly moans on silk sheets under romantic music. In life, everything is much more prosaic. Most likely, both of you will be nervous, shy and in a hurry. And this is completely normal.

Even adult and experienced people do not always lose heads from passion. This is sex, after all, not a porn.

Dream #2: I Will Feel Orgasm or Even Two?

99 out of 100 that none, even if you are perfectly able to cope to reach it independently of the act. Females begin to experience full satisfaction with sex after weeks and even months after they started. With the men, it’s a bit simpler.

For the first time, at best, you will be quite pleased. At worst, you will experience mild physical and psychological discomfort. And this is understandable: at the beginning, everything, including roller skating doesn’t go smoothly and your body must learn to enjoy coupling. And it will take time, patience, mutual respect and a very attentive, loving partner.

Dream #3: He/She Did It Because He/She Loves Me

A small amendment: partner did it because of physical desire. Otherwise, in technical terms, nothing would have happened. Maybe females will not like this statement but love (that is, tenderness, trust, respect, readiness to support in trouble and other important things) is not always associated with such a very prosaic thing as sex. Men can quietly love one woman, and sleep with another.

Of course, it’s your right thing to have sexual intercourse is only with the partner who really loves and admire you and whom you love. But if it happened differently, at least do not let stupid dreams mist your own head. Sex and love are not always bound by the sign of equality. And since you decided to become an adult, learn to accept life as it is.

For your first time, you may forget scenes from porn. It’s better to relax and think that very soon you will get a lot of pleasure from these tender and so sweet movements.